It Starts at Home: Watching My Kids Grow Differently

I live in a home full of personalities. Six kids. One roof. One father. One mother. Same meals. Same Quran lessons. Same bedtime (theoretically). But still, six completely different souls.

One of my daughters is soft-spoken and observant. Another is boisterous and loves taking charge. One of my sons asks deep questions about Jannah. Another just wants to take apart a toaster.

As a dad, it hits me:

Allah didn’t create them the same — and He didn’t intend to.

Their differences are not problems to solve. They’re proofs to reflect on.

“And in yourselves are signs — then will you not see?” — [Surah Adh-Dhariyat 51:21]

This realization has changed how I parent. I no longer focus on making them “good at everything.” Instead, I ask:

“What did Allah make you for?”

Parenting Through a Prophetic Lens

I try to teach my kids that their strengths are from Allah. That life isn’t about chasing someone else’s path it’s about discovering your own and walking it with sincerity.

I don’t push them to fit into a single mold or expect them to excel in everything. Instead, I remind them:

“Allah gave you something unique. Your job is to find it, nurture it, and use it for good.”

It plants something powerful:

• Humility: because your gift is a trust, not a trophy.

• Gratitude: because it could’ve been given to someone else.

• Respect: because what others carry may be what you’re missing.

And most importantly, it kills envy.

Because you’re not here to compete—you’re here to complete the picture.

Even the Sahabah Weren’t the Same

We often romanticize the Sahabah like they were all the same: brave warriors, scholars, hafidh, perfect.

But the truth? They were diverse—by design.

• Abu Bakr (RA) was quiet, generous, emotional.

• Umar (RA) was tough, just, protective.

• Uthman (RA) was gentle, wealthy, and deeply modest.

• Ali (RA) was sharp, brave, and spiritually profound.

• Abdur-Rahman ibn Awf (RA)? Not a war hero. But a business mind so sharp he could start from zero and become a millionaire overnight—and give it all away.

Even Khadijah (RA) didn’t ride into battle. But her financial support and emotional strength helped launch the entire message of Islam. Without her, there would be no early da’wah. No stability. No courage to climb that cave again.

The Prophet ﷺ never forced a single blueprint on everyone. He knew their souls. And he guided them according to who they already were.

Business and Leadership: Stop Copy-Pasting Skillsets

If I’ve learned anything in business, it’s this:

You destroy potential when you expect everyone to be everything.

• The introverted dev isn’t lazy—he’s not wired for sales calls.

• Your designer doesn’t “lack vision”—they just don’t do content strategy.

• Your VA can’t lead the team—it’s not her lane.

In parenting, we call this “knowing your child.”

In leadership, we call this emotional intelligence.

Great leaders build teams like puzzles. Not everyone has the same shape, but together, they form a complete picture.

You don’t need clones. You need clarity.

Who’s good at what? Let them own it. Protect their lane. Fill the rest.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Supposed to Be Everything

This mindset can save us from so much:

• Burnout (when you try to do it all)

• Jealousy (when you feel like you’re falling behind)

• Pride (when you think your skill makes you better)

Instead, we remember:

“Each person is facilitated for that which they were created.”

— [Sahih Muslim, 2647]

So don’t force your child to be someone else.

Don’t expect your employee to be another version of you.

And don’t hate yourself for not excelling in a role you weren’t built for.

Play your role. Perfect it. And leave the rest to Allah.

Let’s Talk

• Do you notice these differences in your family or team?

• Have you ever tried to force yourself to be something you’re not?

• What’s one strength Allah gave you that you’re underestimating?

Drop your thoughts below. Or better yet, take a few minutes today to look at the people around you and say:

“I see your difference. And I honor it.”